[Leaving addiction] How Sabine broke free from drinking alone

Sabine grew into a fairly rebellious nature, no doubt tied to a strict upbringing where "children are there to stay in their place, not bother the adults and do as they are told." She had lost her partner more than twenty years earlier, in dark circumstances. As she remembers it, at the time of that painful separation full of unanswered questions, alcohol was what let her keep face for her children, forget the tragedy as far as she could, and go on smiling and going out while telling herself that life carries on. And then the temporary dressing became a permanent one. Social at first, then gradually solitary. Precisely to avoid the pain that loneliness could wake up, because it always echoed the past whether she wanted it to or not. Sabine had tried residential programmes, without success.

Together we were able to see that alcohol was what kept her from facing the loneliness that haunted her. So the first thing we did, through hypnosis, was to create a space of safety and inner freedom from which she could meet the less comfortable or more painful emotions. From the top of a familiar mountain that her unconscious found quickly through interactive hypnosis, as a place of resource, she could take some height over everything happening inside. All the space around that mountain also gave her back the sense of freedom she values so much. From up there it was far easier to watch the loneliness as something outside herself. Sabine decided to let the loneliness run away down a river coming off the mountain. Once it had drained, a whole new image appeared in that inner journey: a set of doors, ajar, each one opening onto a different landscape. Sabine wanted to leave them like that, so as to keep every option open and stay free.

Several sessions were needed to anchor all the states the drinking had been standing in for: freedom, lightness, elation, sharing.

Through those experiences, mind and body could confirm at depth that alcohol was no longer needed to feel those positive states fully. Simply returning to those inner places was enough to wake them. With the emotional side strengthened, we turned to the practical. Since loneliness turned out to be the main source of the urge to drink, we had to build a menu of activities chosen in advance, so Sabine could move from a loneliness she endured to a space of freedom and choice that felt alive to her. She left with a well-stocked list of things she fancied doing and a plan of attack for starting a number of activities rich in fulfilment and in company — things that had been sitting at the back of her mind for weeks, sometimes months, and that the drinking had pushed back every time. Rediscovering the pleasure of having projects and feeding them, her desire to drink disappeared fairly quickly. A matter of weeks. Once she was living a stimulating life full of company, drinking went bland. Like someone who, after years of frozen supermarket pizza, had moved in next door to a Neapolitan pizzaiolo.

Sabine came back twice after that. First to take stock: she felt she was coming back to life. She had found meaning again, and an appetite for all sorts of projects. Her colour, her energy and her taste for looking good had come back too, as though the inner road were showing on the outside. We established that at that point nothing in her life suggested a risk of returning to daily drinking. As a safeguard we agreed that at the slightest sign of that risk appearing, she could come back and we would deal with it properly. Then another session, to settle a worry: her addiction seemed to have transferred onto a soft drink. But in the meantime she had found a healthy alternative, so she could choose between the treat and the healthy option. We confirmed that this new situation was sound and carried no risk for her. That session also let us understand the circumstances of her earlier relapses, which had left her afraid the addiction would return. The last one had happened after coming home from a residential programme. The trouble with those programmes is that they take place in a protected setting: no temptation, a group pulling together, medical support within reach, a framework far removed from daily habits, and the stimulating novelty of the whole experience. All of that skews the picture. Abstinence is easier in a supervised context where everyone is aiming at the same thing. But it does not change the conditions of ordinary life one bit. Sabine understood that her situation here was quite different: she had changed the everyday circumstances that were the source of her drinking. The other relapse had happened after a group of friends who had spent a few days with her went home. Finding herself alone again had set off the pain of loneliness. To avoid that hot-then-cold effect, we planned a gentler transition for the next time friends came to stay.

Sabine's story is a genuine encouragement: it is never too late to take the road back to life, even when addiction has quietly put it out for several decades. It is also a reminder that addiction is a messenger, and that learning to listen to it skilfully is what helps us find the way back to freedom and fulfilment.